Help : translation correction

i have an article about iPad

the article is here
[ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]


i translate it to Arabic

i wish someone to correct it for me

please brothers

I just want u to concentrate at the title if its correct or perfect
and to check the bold words


I can't post it here
to public

because itz for school

I'll send it to anyone willing to help as private msg

so who will help me?

please